Crazy Lady

Well, one thing Ansley and I have been doing a lot of lately is....shopping!! Now, I really, really, really do not like to shop. Yes, I like new things. But I have 2 problems: 1--I am pretty picky, and 2--I do NOT like to overspend. In fact, if it's not on sale, there's little chance I'm going to buy it. Kevin thinks I'm a little crazy when it comes to stuff like that--he doesn't really see the point in all that stuff. But if he knew how it all added up, he would definitely care. I have been blessed and cursed at the same time with a husband that does not look at our checkbook. Okay, well, I'll just go ahead and say we don't balance our checkbook. I get online and check things out all the time, and mentally keep up with things...but since I know what bills will be paid out of what checks...I know it always works out, and I know about how much we have. But Kevin doesn't even do that. It's funny because every now and then there will be boxes and boxes delivered over the course of a few days, and like for the last 4-5 days there have been big bags in the living room and kitchen, along with a large bunch of frames...and he simply doesn't even ask! That's totally NOT how I am. I am always asking how much this cost, how much he spent on that...I am a total tightwad when it comes to that. I accumulated a LOT of credit card debt in college because I was in total denial, and when we paid that off years ago, I was a changed woman.

Well, anyway, I usually go shopping for the boys' clothes at the change of the season, buy a lot at one time, and then I'm done until the next season. And when I say "season," really it's either "cold weather" or "warm weather." And I always wait until there's a sale, or I have a great "entire purchase" coupon. And it's pretty much always at Children's Place. So if anyone else has a boy that wears Children's Place (like at our school), I pick it out real quick--b/c one of mine probably has it too!



Anyhow, on Sunday I made a trip to BabiesRUs and Kohls with my perfect little shopping partner--Ansley Elizabeth. She is usually amazingly good, and sleeps the entire time. If she wakes, it's only because she is hungry or has gas :( TMI, I know. LOL Anyway, after purchasing her a little gym, some 8 oz bottles, some liners, some clothes, and some pacis (trying to find one she actually "took"), I headed to Kohls. BTW, I had coupon after coupon, and used some rewards dollars, and saved a ton of money!

Well, at Kohls, I was on a mission for frames that I saw were 50% off. So I'm looking for some 11x14s, 8x10s, and 5x7 frames, and of course they don't fit in those Kohl's buggies. I mean, what does? So I am shopping away and put those huge 11x14 plus mat frames in the cart sort of "crooked-like." I get 3 of these, and they just look so unstable. Well, at the same time, Ansley wakes up and needs to be fed. So I'm doing the whole hold-her-with-one-arm, feed-her-with-your-chin, and push-the-buggy-with-the-other-arm dance until I get to a point that I can just leave the buggy and look around in that area. Well, the frames fall. A sales associate helps me build the unstable mess again, and of course they fall again. So I ask if someone could bring them to the front for me. She says, "Sure!" and a kind older lady comes to pick up my frames. The helper lady asks me what register I'll be checking out at, I tell her, and she heads that way with my large frames. (I'm still looking for the smaller ones.)

She comes back a few minutes later to tell me that one of the frames is damaged--it came unglued at one corner. So I pick out another one, and as she is waiting on me to choose one she tells me to be sure to have them page her when it is time for me to check out, because she will carry these to my car. I tell her that I will, and she takes my other frame to the front. A minute or so later, I'm done shopping, so I head to the front as well. As I intersect with her, she secretly gives me a 15% off entire purchase coupon. Score!! Don't mind if I do! (That phrase is for you, Steph!)

Well, when it is my turn at the register, the cashier goes ahead and pages the other lady--apparently that kind helper lady...let's just call her Carol, since I don't know her name...okay, Carol is paged. Well, the cashier...let's call her Stacy...is making small talk with me, commenting on how pretty Ansley is, asking her how old she is...you know... I purposely don't tell her I have 3 others at home. She thinks I'm a first-time mom, and I don't feel like shocking her. Then she says she has a 3 year old at home. I ask if she has baby fever yet, and she says no--that she just looks at the baby photos of her little boy and that is satisfaction enough for now. I just nod and smile, still tending to Ansley as I put her in the carrier.

So then Carol comes up to help, and we all make more small talk as they comment on how quickly I lost the baby weight...the cashier mentions how she is still losing the weight she gained with her pregnancy a few years ago... Again, I don't mention I have the other 3 at home. Just trying to keep it simple.

Well, Nancy gathers the frames and walks out with me. I tell her it's the silver van. You can tell she's a little taken aback that it's a van, but doesn't say anything. Then, as she puts the frames in my very full trunk--loaded with baseball equipment and a stroller on top (3 batting helmets to the side), she can see the car seats and she asks, "Do you have 2 other children?" That's when I say, "Well, actually, I have 3 other children. They are all boys. I have been wanting a girl each time, and I finally got one." The look on her face was priceless. She said,"3 boys??? Well...I guess you finally got a girl." And I, "Yep, finally got one! Now we're done!" (before she thought I was clinically insane and had plans for another). Anyway, just like that, her entire perception of me changed before my eyes. I went from "Sweet, young lady with a little newborn," to "Crazy lady with 4 kids" in 0.7 seconds! Oh the look on that lady's face. She walked a walk of shock to the front doors, I know ready to tell that cashier how I had 3 boys at home.

And that's what it's like. I feel like I have to say very quickly how we're done--"We're done, people!" When I go to Wal-Mart, I feel like I have a small class with me. I hear things like "Oh my gosh...bless your heart," and "Are all 'a those yours?" It's really funny! And I have to admit, a tad bit annoying at times. I mean, bless my heart??? Yeah, go ahead and bless me, I'll take it :) But really, I love my life. Each child has a special special place in my heart, and I have so much love in me for each one, that when I think about it, it's almost too much. I am overcome with the blessings that I have been given. It is very hard to manage it all, don't get me wrong--especially with such a little infant. But my goodness I love having such a full house. I love that 3 nights out of the week there were 5 people sleeping in my bedroom because Riley didn't feel well, Talan was in his bed which is in our room, and Ansley was in the bed with Kevin and me. I love that when I got up to make Ansley a bottle, I had to balance and zig zag between Talan and Riley to safely get us out of that room. I love that it looked a little like a slumber party in there. I love it. I love my children. And I think about our future, and I am so very happy to have a little girl to go shopping with, and most of all to talk with late at night maybe over some cappucino or something. I am so lucky to have such wonderful, sweet boys who have such tender hearts...and have my precious little girl too. I love my life now. And I am going to also love it when they grow up, and we have huge Thanksgiving dinners together (I hope their wives let them come here every year!) I look forward to having a full house that only gets even more crowded as the boys grow up and have friends over more often (also when we get a bigger house!!!). I am going to love it when they get older and they can really aggravate each other and play pranks on each other and all that. I can't wait to see each of their real first crushes.

Spencer has already had a girlfriend--one last year. It was a teacher's kid, and boy is she a doll. They are no longer together, and Spencer didn't get all caught up in it or anything, but it was cute. I would prefer him not to really date anyone until he gets out of high school, if I get a vote at all. I would just rather him enjoy his friends and being young altogeher while he is still in school. All the drama that goes with high school and middle school relationships--well, it's unnecessary and I don't want him getting caught up in that.

Anyway, I can't wait for all of these events to occur. But when I look around at my life now, I want it to stay the same forever. I love Ansley being so little. I absolutely love waking up with her in the middle of the night. I love those moments together. I love taking care of her. And I really really love her smiles that are getting more and more frequent. I love how Spencer is so patient (or tries to be), so loving, such a perfectionist, so creative, and so wonderful altogether. It amazes me the things he comes up with sometimes. He has such an artistic mind...We got out of the garage all of the Little People toys that I had stored in a plastic bin. They haven't seen that stuff since Riley was like 3. So it was like brand new to them. They all played together, excitedly. Guess what Spencer does? He makes a jail. He takes a box that he found, gets some tape, cuts a hole, and makes a sign that says, "Jail." Who would come up with that? He's just so neat and his brothers just look up to him so much. They fight too, of course, but they really think he is just amazing.

And I love Riley's downright goofiness and the way he has such a grateful heart for anything given to him. I love the way he's so silly and for some odd reason rhymes all the time. I love that it takes us forever to do his homework because he laughs and giggles the whole time, talking to me and enjoying my undivided attention. Okay, the homework thing can be a hassle when we're in a hurry, but really...I love those times.

I love the way Talan is so mischievous and for some reason so mature with his "meanness." I love the way he already knows how to be sarcastic, and I also love how he has the sweetest little girly voice. I love how he gives me kisses spontaneously, his obsession with balloons (he blows them up himself), cutting with scissors (he cuts balloons(?), crayons (?), paper, anything...), bubbles (not so much lately though), and water. Oh my gosh how he continues to get into trouble for playing in the bathroom sink!

I love and adore each one. I look around and I can't believe I have 4 healthy, beautiful children. And I know that I must be doing something right. God has blessed me and has allowed me to raise 4 of His children. We're not rich. We need a bigger house. But I tell you what, I would have the children over the money anyday. There is not a single day that goes by that I take it for granted. Really. I spend each day thankful for them. I have wanted kids since I was a little girl. It's the only thing I was sure I wanted to be when I grew up. And I always had a nagging fear that because that was what I wanted, something would happen and maybe I wouldn't be able to have them. I wanted to be a mom so badly, I thought it might not come true. Well, I have been blessed four-fold.

And our marriage gets sweeter with every passing year. I am beginning to realize more and more how Kevin and I are made for each other.

Tired. Going to sleep.